Let’s be honest: men and women often have different tastes. That doesn’t make anyone sexist — it’s just how people are wired. I’ve yet to meet a guy who gets as hyped about bite-sized snacks or Balmainia as I do. Meanwhile, my guy friends lament their struggle to find a girl who’s down for hours of excessive video game chatter.
And while we’re all different, especially in the bedroom, one truth remains: sexual pleasure is deeply personal. There’s no right or wrong position — just what feels good for you and your partner. As long as you’re practicing active consent, communicating about boundaries, and enjoying yourselves, then whether it’s Lotus or Missionary, your favorite position is the right one.
Still, curiosity got the best of me. So, I surveyed 50 friends and coworkers of all genders to see if preferences break down along gender lines — and the results were revealing.
Here’s a look at how men and women rank their favorite sex positions — from “meh” to “more, please!”
What Women Had to Say
#9. The Lotus
Sex is no place to just take a seat.
This intimate, seated, face-to-face position ranked lowest among women. And honestly? Understandable. It’s tricky to get right — both partners need flexibility, balance, and patience. But sex educator Lola Jean notes that Lotus can be emotionally satisfying: “You’re able to see their face and feel their breath,” she says. For those who value deep connection, Lotus might still hold appeal.
#8. Spooning
Cuddly, yes. Sexy? Not always.
Jean calls it “lazy sex,” which isn’t necessarily a bad thing — it’s cozy and low-effort. But achieving good angles can be frustrating. “If anyone has mastered this position, please tweet me,” one woman joked. We feel that.
#7. 69
Great in theory — awkward in execution.
While 69 is all about mutual pleasure, not everyone loves multitasking mid-oral. “It can be overwhelming depending on who you are,” Jean explains. For some, it’s too much stimulus at once. For others, it’s an arousing exchange of power.
#6. Reverse Cowgirl
Good for the partner, maybe not for you.
Sure, it gives your partner a great view — but if all you’re seeing is feet, the thrill can fade fast. Still, Reverse Cowgirl has its merits. Jean points out it’s great for deep penetration and even “backdoor” access, if that’s your thing.
#5. Against the Wall
Hot in movies, hard in real life.
Women reported enjoying wall sex more than men, but execution is everything. “Differences in height, angle of erection, and clitoral proximity all play a role,” says Jean. Basically: it’s sexy but not simple.
#4. Ankles Over Head
Part hamstring stretch, part intense stimulation.
This position scored high for delivering strong clitoral stimulation — and a serious stretch. As always, pleasure and comfort depend on flexibility, size, and communication.
#3. Cowgirl
In control, on top, and feeling powerful.
Cowgirl is a top-tier pick for many women. “She’s in the driver’s seat,” says sex coach Amy Levine. This position allows control over speed and depth, while enabling clitoral stimulation through rhythmic movement.
#2. Missionary
Classic for a reason.
Often dismissed as boring, Missionary is still a fan favorite — and it’s not just about comfort. “Missionary maximizes her satisfaction,” says Levine, especially with legs over shoulders or added toys. Plus, the eye contact and physical closeness are unmatched.
#1. Doggie Style
Losing control never felt so good.
Topping the list, Doggie gives partners full control — and for many, that’s part of the thrill. “Doggie can allow for greater depth,” Jean explains, though it can also be too intense for some. Want more control? The receiving partner can adjust position to moderate penetration.
What Men Had to Say
#9. The Lotus
Another tie for last place.
Men weren’t fans of Lotus either. Jean attributes the struggle to its lack of versatility and control, but suggests syncing breath and movement for a more mindful, connected experience.
#8. Spooning
Turns out guys aren’t too into it either.
Even though it allows for deep penetration, most men said spooning just didn’t do much for them. If you’re trying to make it work, Jean suggests adjusting for angle and proximity to the G-spot.
#7. Ankles in the Air
Too complicated, too fast.
While this Kama Sutra-esque position is aesthetically pleasing, many men found it impractical. Jean stresses the importance of communication if flexibility becomes an issue. A little honesty goes a long way.
#6. Against the Wall
Reality rarely matches the fantasy.
Much like their female counterparts, the men surveyed admitted this one’s more fun to watch than perform. Jean recommends trying Cowgirl if the wall becomes more hassle than heat.
#5. 69
Mutual, but not always magical.
Men’s feelings were mixed on this one, too. Jean notes that pleasure depends on your focus — are you into giving, or would you rather relax and receive?
#4. Reverse Cowgirl
It’s the view. Enough said.
Men loved the visual aspect of this position. Jean adds that it’s great for those with more downward-facing erections, offering a unique and stimulating angle.
#3. Cowgirl
Sit back and enjoy the ride.
Men appreciate this position for letting their partners take the reins — literally. It’s a win-win: visually appealing, easy to control pace, and deeply engaging.
#2. Missionary
Still a crowd-pleaser.
It’s a classic for a reason. Men praised Missionary for the control and intimacy it allows. Levine recommends adding a toy and maintaining eye contact to deepen the connection.
#1. Doggie Style
A universal favorite.
Just like the women, men ranked Doggie as their top choice. Jean reminds us that with a little adjustment — like widening stances to accommodate height differences — this position can be both powerful and pleasurable for everyone involved.
The Bottom Line
Yes, men and women often like different things — in bed and beyond. But that doesn’t mean one is better than the other. Sexual preferences are as individual as fingerprints. What matters most is communication, consent, and finding joy in whatever works for you and your partner.
So whether you’re chasing intensity, intimacy, or a little bit of both — happy exploring.
