After being cut off from his famous grandmother in her final years, the sole grandson of a beloved American icon discovered her passing not through family, but through his social media feed.
Ryan Melcher, the only grandson of a Hollywood legend, faced heartbreak when he was blocked from seeing his grandmother before she died in 2019.
The blonde American Hollywood star in a head and shoulders photo from the 1940s | Source: Getty Images
Family complications and outside interference created barriers between the two, leaving Ryan to discover her passing through social media instead of personal contact. Their story highlights how family conflicts can separate even the closest relatives, creating wounds that last for generations.
This future star was born on April 3, 1922, in Cincinnati, Ohio, and spent her childhood in a German-American family. Her early dream of dancing ended at age 14 when a car accident with a train crushed her right leg.
This tragic setback forced her to find a new path. She turned to singing and, by 17, joined Les Brown’s Band, launching what would become one of Hollywood’s most celebrated careers.
The American actress and singer wearing dragonfly brooches, circa 1955 | Source: Getty Images
Meanwhile, the actress’s personal life proved rocky from the start. Her first marriage to trombonist Al Jorden in 1941 ended after two years of abuse. Jorden was known for trying to force her to miscarry their son, Terry Melcher. Following her divorce, she wed saxophonist George Weidler in 1946; however, their marriage ended in less than a year.
The American star on the set of “The Pajama Game” in 1956 | Source: Getty Images
During this rising success, the actress met and married her third husband, Martin Melcher, who adopted her son Terry. This marriage would last until Martin’s death in 1968, but would later prove disastrous for her finances.
Hollywood Success and Hidden Struggles
The star’s career peaked in the 1950s and 1960s. Her starring role in “Calamity Jane” (1953) became a major hit. She followed with successful films like “Love Me or Leave Me” (1955), Alfred Hitchcock’s “The Man Who Knew Too Much” (1956), and perhaps her most famous film, “Pillow Talk” (1959). The latter earned her an Academy Award nomination.
The American actress and singer, circa 1962 | Source: Getty Images
Her fame wasn’t limited to movies. From 1949 to 1967, she was also a highly successful recording artist, with popular songs like “Whatever Will Be, Will Be (Que Sera, Sera)” and “Everybody Loves a Lover.” Her excellent singing voice and captivating presence on screen made her one of the most prominent figures in Hollywood.
Behind the scenes, the actress was still facing mounting troubles. In 1958, her brother Paul passed away. Around this time, her husband Martin started arranging for her to appear in films that she did not want to do, which led to her becoming worn out.
The star and Martin Melcher in New York in September 1957 | Source: Getty Images
In the mid-1960s, she reduced her workload in the film industry, appearing only in movies such as “Do Not Disturb,” released in 1965, and “The Glass Bottom Boat,” which came out in 1966.
However, a huge shock came after Martin died in 1968. She found out her husband and her lawyer, Jerome Rosenthal, had spent all her money, leaving her $500,000 in debt. Even worse, Martin had committed her to a TV series without her knowledge.
The star wearing a bright pink hat and cape, circa 1970 | Source: Getty Images
Eventually, the actress won a $26 million lawsuit against Rosenthal but ended up settling for $6 million after 17 years of legal battles. Her fourth and final marriage to restaurant greeter Barry Comden also ended in divorce in 1980. After this, she stepped away from Hollywood to focus on her true passion – animal welfare.
The star and Barry Comden at the Pierre Hotel in New York City in February 1976 | Source: Getty Images
A New Chapter: Animal Advocate
The star in question is Doris Day, who, since the 1970s, turned her focus to animal rights. She founded the Doris Day Animal League in Carmel, California, to fight for better treatment of pets and wildlife. Her passion for animals drove her to battle against animal testing and promote spay/neuter programs across the United States.
Doris’s early Spay Day initiative grew into an international event. World Spay Day has grown to provide thousands of free or low-cost spay and neuter surgeries across more than 70 countries.
Doris Day with her dog in Carmel, California in 1985 | Source: Getty Images
Additionally, by 2018, her birthday celebrations in Carmel had become community events drawing people from all over to support her cherished causes. “The whole city is booked! People come in from all over the world and bring her gifts,” said her friend and biographer, Pierre Patrick. All proceeds from these events funded her animal foundation.
Even in her 90s, Doris stayed active in running this organization. “There’s a little Doris Day empire, and it’s very, very busy,” Pierre noted about her tireless spirit. Doris herself said, “I loved my singing and acting career, but my greatest accomplishment is the important work I do for my two charities.”
Doris Day at the 46th Annual Golden Globe Awards at the Beverly Hilton Hotel in Los Angeles, California on January 28, 1989 | Source: Getty Images
The star never regretted leaving Hollywood behind. “I’ve always believed things work out exactly as they’re supposed to,” she told Closer Weekly in 2018. Little did she know how family troubles would soon be revealed.
Doris Day attending “Doris Day (1922 – 2019)’s Best Friends” Taping on July 22, 1985 in Carmel, California | Source: Getty Images
The Hidden Family Drama
Doris’s only child built his own successful career in music. Born February 8, 1942, in New York City, Terry became a respected record producer who helped shape California’s folk and surf music scenes.
He began his career as a musician in the early 1960s. He formed a duo called Bruce & Terry with Bruce Johnston, who later became a member of the Beach Boys, and had several successful songs.
Terry Melcher, Mike Love, guest, and Bruce Johnston at a party for The Beach Boys Gold Single “Kokomo” in 1988 | Source: Getty Images
Later, they created another group, the Rip Chords, whose 1964 song “Hey, Little Cobra” became a hit. Terry also contributed to the Beach Boys’ well-known album “Pet Sounds.”
Beyond music, Terry worked as a producer and writer for films including “Cocktail” (1988) and “Lethal Weapon 2” (1989). His name also appeared in credits for “Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood” (2019), released many years after his death.
Sadly, he died on November 19, 2004, at age 62 after battling melanoma. His loss devastated Doris Day. “My son was the love of my life. We talked every day, and I miss him very much,” she said in an interview in 2018.
Doris Spent Her Final Years with No Family
When Doris lost her son, friends of the actress said the loss took a toll and changed her in the long run. She reportedly immersed herself in her work and turned to her fans and employees when it came to having people close to talk to.
The actress allegedly had seven friends who were still alive when she died. However, Doris had fans who eventually became family to her. One of her bodyguards, Sydney Wood, revealed that the actress was more reserved and spent most of her days indoors.
Doris Day photographed in 1965 | Source: Getty Images
But towards her last days, insiders confessed that they worried about the people who surrounded Doris because most of those who were in and out of her house did not have a personal relationship with her.
“She used to have the right people taking care of her. But her house is full of different people now. They’re with her because she’s Doris Day. I worry they are not looking after her well enough,” said an insider.
Doris Day in California in 1985 | Source: Getty Images
In 2014, Doris made her last public appearance at an event for her foundation. But before that, the actress was last seen in 1989 at the Golden Globes. Nonetheless, Doris said she was feeling young and exercising every day.
Former employees of Doris said the actress spent the last ten years of her life alone. Furthermore, she apparently only used her kitchen and bedroom and never wanted to speak about anything besides her dogs and fans.
Doris Day photographed in 1960 | Source: Getty Images
The loneliness of her last days takes on an even greater sadness when considering she was not without family.
A Grandson Cut Off
Doris’ son Terry left behind his wife, Terese, and a son, Ryan, from his previous marriage, Jacqueline Carlin. Ryan would become Doris’s only grandson and heir – and the center of a sad family division that would keep him from his famous grandmother.
Doris Day with Ryan Melcher during a press conference on July 16, 1985, at a hotel in Carmel, California | Source: Getty Images
Ryan explained that longstanding family issues had kept him from seeing Doris for years. “Sadly, due to a divorce I was caught in the middle of as an underage child, I haven’t been allowed to see my grandmother for quite some time,” he wrote.
The last effort to reconnect came a few years after his father’s passing. Doris had invited Ryan to dinner—but her new business manager intervened.
Ryan recalled the unsettling exchange: “This man asked me, ‘Why do you want to see Doris?’ I was shocked—not just by the question, but by the fact that it came from a complete stranger.”
When Ryan simply replied that Doris was his grandmother, the manager responded, “I’m afraid you’re not going to be able to see your grandmother,” citing the divorce as the reason.
Reflecting on the incident, Ryan expressed regret for not pushing harder. In hindsight, he wished he had insisted more—perhaps even gone directly to her home to prevent an outsider from driving a wedge between them.
But he also acknowledged the obstacles. “There were high security measures in place—tall fences and a 24/7 guard, all under the direction of her new business manager—which made it impossible for me to get through,” he explained.
The dinner never happened. “All communication was cut off from that point on, and I was left bewildered,” Ryan wrote. He later discovered that the business manager had dismissed longtime board members of Doris’s foundation and replaced them with members of his own family.
Unfortunately, this pattern of exclusion wasn’t unfamiliar to Ryan. He shared that when his father was on his deathbed, Terry’s wife also prevented him from visiting—again using the divorce as justification. “She even tried to have me arrested when I went to say goodbye,” he revealed.
Despite family hardships, Ryan found his way forward. The same year Doris died, he met Brittney Giammanco at a dive bar in Monterey, California. Their connection had an unexpected twist – Giammanco had lyrics from “Que Sera, Sera” tattooed on her arm when she was 19, long before meeting Ryan.
During one of their dates, Ryan asked if she knew who originally sang the song. When he revealed Doris was his grandmother, Brittney was amazed by the coincidence. Ryan shared that his grandmother “just sang it to me all the time” when he was young.
Ryan’s relationship with his mother had been complicated as well. In a moving tribute on the first anniversary of her death, he wrote, “I was really surprised at how hard it hit me, when at most moments in my adult life, I didn’t even really like my mom, or even myself for that matter.”
Eventually, Ryan built a successful career as a real estate agent in Carmel-by-the-Sea, California, where he was named the #1 Sotheby’s Agent. His professional achievements include being listed among the Top 100 Sotheby’s Agents in the U.S.
Through all the family turmoil, Ryan has found his own happy ending while honoring the legacy of both his father and his famous grandmother. He often posts about them on social media.
Doris died at age 97. True to her modest nature, she requested no funeral, memorial service, or grave marker. Instead, she asked that those wishing to remember her donate to the Doris Day Animal Foundation.
“Later in life it was her work as a philanthropist and advocate for animal rights that connected her with so many people around the world, and that’s a powerful legacy to leave behind,” he added.
He also remembered happier times, “Although she was an incredibly private person, in my formative years she spent a lot of time and energy with our family, ensuring I felt loved. I would go to her home every day after school and those are memories I will always cherish. She instilled a drive and confidence that I will carry with me the rest of my life.”
For her part, Doris once commented about life’s difficulties, “I think you have to get through the bad times to appreciate the good things in life. I’ve had my share of both and I always say, I’m like one of those dolls with the round bottom: If life deals you a blow, you just have to bounce right back!”
It seems her grandson has inherited that resilience, finding happiness and starting a family of his own – perhaps the most fitting tribute to Doris’s enduring spirit.
